How To Get Pregnant

Why did you have to go?
Why did you leave me?
Why did you leave us?
What did I do to you?
Was I not obedient enough?
Why are you so mean to me?
Why did you call me mentally retarded?
Why did you call me Bi-Polar?
Why did you criticize me when I was pregnant?
Why? Were you feeling guilty that I got pregnant?
Why did you insult me by telling me to get on the pill?
Why have you belittled me in your responses to me?
Why can’t you take anything like a real man? Own up to what you did!
Why did you say Sofia’s birth was more exciting than mine?
Why didn’t you stop drinking for me?
Why wouldn’t a child make you want to quit?
Why isn’t a child good enough to quit?
Why are you still in denial?
Why do you continue to drink?
Why did you leave mom to raise me alone?
Why did you never come to my games?
Why did you never come to my recitals?
Why did you stop picking me up from school?
Why did you never visit?
Do you know how much you have hurt me?
Do you know how much your actions have impacted my life?
Do you know I do not have a healthy view of men because of you?
Do you know it will take me a lot of time to finally trust someone?
Do you know that I got myself involved with someone who hurt me because that is what I am used to?
Do you know that I was not treated right by him because I have never seen a man in my life treat a woman right?
Do you know why I never call you?
Do you know why I never call you for help?
Do you know why I didn’t invite you to witness Sofia’s birth?
Do you know why I never even told you I was in labor?
Do you even care to know about your daughter?
Do you know all I have EVER done is Love you?
Do you know that I still cry because of you?
Do you know that the pain is still there?
Don’t you love me?
Do you know that sometimes I believe it is better to not have even known you?
Do you know that I think you feel like I am asking to much of you when I need help?
Do you know that I feel rejected when you don’t want to do anything with me?
Do you know that I think you aren’t interested in Sofia when you never come over to visit her?
Do you know I also feel rejected since you have never volunteered to take her out to do something fun or to teach her something about art?
Did I hurt you?
Did you think I never loved you?
I died the day you left our family for good.

Duration : 0:3:41

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Technorati Tags: absent, crisis, daughter, family, father, lindsay, lohan, Parent, To

Girls (and guys), these are a set of cool videos which help sort our one of our biggest problems — avoiding getting pregnant after a contraceptive failure. The product is an emergency contraceptive pill – similar to Plan B available in the US. It’s safe, private and best of all, it’s available at chemist shops all over India without a prescription. Watch the videos and you’ll know exactly why I feel so good about this product. Oh, and for more information, you can visit www.ipillcipla.com or call 1800-229898 or (022) 3200 0055. Mail me at ipillwoman@gmail.com.

Duration : 0:0:38

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Technorati Tags: after, contraception, emergency, ipill, morning, pill, pregnancy

I had sex with my boyfriend two days ago. We didn’t realize until after we were done that the condom broke. I’m on birth control, and it was during the placebo pills. I always take my pills everyday, so i haven’t missed one. I also took a morning after pill about an hour and a half after it happened. Are my chances of getting pregnant very high?? I’m assuming no. But, I’m not sure.

Your chances of becoming pregnant are not high, no.

I wonder if you realize what you are doing to your body with all the hormonal contraception you’re bombarding it with. Both the regular pill and Plan B are incredibly dangerous for you and you will see the effects as time goes on. Do you know this?

"The dose of estrogen in the current birth control pill, which is erroneously billed as ’safe,’ has potency four times greater than that of the estrogen used in hormone replacement therapy (HRT). HRT has been conclusively shown to increase the risk of stroke (41%), pulmonary embolism (113%), breast cancer (26%), and coronary heart disease (29%)." (http://www.morningafterpill.org/is-emergency-contraception-saf.html)

The above link has a lot more information about Plan B, including the fact that it is the equivalent of 50 regular pills. If the regular pills alone are so harmful to a woman, imagine what 50 at a time do.

I just wondered if you’re aware of this, as most women are not.

The one and only way to prevent pregnancy is to avoid sex, because, after all, sex is how we reproduce. That’s nature, that’s how it’s designed. Contraception isn’t going to help you learn about what sex is truly all about. I recommend this site: http://www.chastity.com/node/21

Can’t sleep? Read this before popping a pill to get your pregnant Zzzzs. More Videos on Pregnancy Life:
http://pregnancy.healthguru.com/content/browse/cid/13/sid/23/Life_During_Pregnancy/Pregnant_Life?YTPHG_013_PregSleep02_SafeAids

Duration : 0:1:47

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Technorati Tags: Ambien pregnancy, baby, Benadryl, pregnancy, pregnancy insomnia, pregnancy sleep, pregnancy sleeping, pregnancy symptoms, pregnancy video, pregnant, pregnant sleep, sleeping while pregnant, tired pregnancy

Myspace.com/abserdoba

Senior year living in fear
High Skool party bring the beer.
Your McDonalds job causes so much stress.
And then you met a boy you wanted to undress.
He said he loved you then asked you out
But you know thats not what it was about
He took you to the mall and held your hand
And said never let me go Im your man.
Your boyfriend said he couldnt wait any longer
He said his feelings couldnt get any stronger
You know iv seen the video tape
You lying it wasnt rape.

(Chorus)
You got pregnant and dropped outa highschool 2x
All your collage money went to buying toys.
All cause you couldnt stop boys.

Friends found out and called you a whore.
Next house party you em some more.
You enormous ego crowds your view.
And now theres nothing you can do.
Your best friend said you havent been the same.
Ever since you lost your sense of shame
Your sexual experience has altered your mind.
Longer then the hole he couldnt find.

Chorus

Whats your problem youve never seen a condom in your life.
You didnt take the pill and now youre his wife.
You wana sell your baby for some crack.
Smoke the rocks and never get it back.

INTERLUDE
Was it worth it
You live through life blindly.
If you need help.
Youll know where to find me.
Will it be worth it To live tomorrow
Hows it feel to live in sorrow

Its everybody elses fault but yours.
Why does this always happen to you.
Barley surviving day by day.
You work night just to scrape a little pay.
Complain bout the pain your going through
Still no one seems to understand.
Freedom is only a few Oz away
To hide remorse for your demands.
Its to late now and theres no turning back.
You found the right words to say when your in denial.
Hoping someone will cut you some slack.
Hows it feel to live in sorrow.

Chorus

Eagerly waiting for the answers to come.
Whos gonna save you from this hell.
You play it safe and do what your told.
At this point you mine as well.
This what is what your life is and will always be.
Dream of the future you cant see.
Your satisfied In constant misery
But you wonder where is he.

Do you regret it.
Would you change it if you could.
Go back to that night.
And block his wood.

Interlude.

Your life is over your dreams are dead you should of listened when daddy said next time I see your boyfriend rob her better have a haircut and a job. 2x

Duration : 0:8:2

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Technorati Tags: Abserdo, Adolescents, Edge, Grindcore, Hamflipz, Hardcore, Philly, pregancy, Punk, skate, Straight, teen, Thrash

I stopped yasmine pill for about 3 and a half months now after taking it for 2 years. I tried for a baby but seems i cant get pregnant.

sometimes it can take up to a year but everyone’s body is different so it could come sooner for you. before i started the pill i had irregular periods and now i have been off of it for 2 years- i still have irregular periods- my dr said its going to be a challenge to get pregnant just because i dont know when i will have a period.

Are you having regular periods? If so you can track your ovulation- just because you ovulate doesnt mean that you will get pregnant that time. it can take some times

She got her eggo prego!

Duration : 0:2:55

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Technorati Tags: cuz, got, icoarly, is, on, pill, poop, pregnant, she, the, youtube

Featuring Big Boi and Sleepy Brown

Pussy nigga what you doin’

[Chorus: Sleepy Brown]
(All day I dream about…)
(All day I dream about sex)
The way you move your sexy groove
I’ve got my mind all over you
(All day I dream about…)
(All day I dream about sex)
You say you were so sick of it
I’m tired of jackin’ off cause you ain’t there

[Verse 1: Big Boi]
65 Cevrolet Ipala peachy cream
Cruisin’ down the street like two fingers
Cause the ivory is clean
Talkin’ ’bout meetin’ at the MC room
On the inside of the ship
Not a honey dip to hunt on
Cause she mobile than a grip
Or the Blue Man Group
Caught out on the Vegas Strip
Tell em’ a good game, juju pimpin’
Give em’ to my nigga Dime Legit
Boss lips, legs, arms, necks
Hip dips, hair net, mo’ stretch
It’s a camel toe and thats fo’ sho
My brain is on one track
Like Mary Mary toss for crackle like a rock star does for smack
None of that but the female genatalia’s where it’s at
I’m a man and I demand a WO-man for that act
Personal preference cause I use the law of nature as a reference
No I don’t ever recall seein’ a man turn up pregnant
But that’s just me
From them female fantasies frolic freely
In my pit, every 30 some seconds I can’t stop it

[Chorus]

[Killer Mike]
Killer Kill from Adamsville and in a Bonneville I chill
Heffers call me Black-N-Decker, I don’t screw them hoes I drill
I’ve been cuttin’ cute lil’ coochies since before the record deal
Catch me daydreamin’ ’bout them, thick, medium, or slim
Doctors call the thing vagina, in the hood we call it trim
White boys call it snatch, Puerto Ricans call it chocha
Nathaniel likes his white, I like mine dark as cola
It’s the first thing on my mind in the morn’ when I roll over
All men young or old in the end it’s what we after
Even my grandpappy’s happy, he got prescribed Viagra

Grandaddy, grandaddy what’s happenin’
What’s up, what’s up this me
Hey let me get about three of them blue diamonds
I promise I got you tomorrow

[Chorus]

[Killer Mike]
When I drill, I don’t spill, even if she’s on the pill
Keep my weapon covered, concealed, and in a shield
Cause I dont need that A-I-D-S
A D and an A missin’ out my ADIDAS
PLUS, We don’t need no DNA mixin’ between us
We just need to keep this thing friendly and hush hush
On the down low, like R. Kelly and youngsters
But over eighteen only cause baby I’m no perv
From the tour bus to the lobby, elevator to the room
We can jump each others bones but there’s no jumpin’ brooms

[Big Boi]
Buffoon you are too consumed in the womb
It is too early for you to jump the broom, BOOM

[Chorus]

Duration : 0:3:30

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Technorati Tags: about, adidas, all, big, boi, Day, dream, outkast, sex

Comment to WIN!!

Win a Lady Mellisa Electronic Birth Control Pill Case I found at the Dollar Store, with the most original comment on this video!

The Spears family all should have had one of these, now it’s your chance to win one, and all it takes is one simple comment (you can enter as many as times as you like too)..

I’ll leave it up to you to be funny on why you want this, or tell a joke, or say whatever you think will make you win this wonderful item! I’ll be judging, and we all know I’m kinda wacky

It’s electronic and stores your birth control pills, and has alarms!

NO BIRTH CONTROL PILLS INCLUDED!!!!

The comment must adhere to TOS…

It’ll be judged by me, Jolene Sugarbaker at the end of the contest, and I’ll wrap it up and mail it to you!

Open to residents of the US and Canada!

Sorry Foreign people, I’ll do a world contest soon, and you can participate at least but can’t win, just say (I’m foreign at the end of your post) LOL

Remember! I LOVE foreign people, just some restrictions on mailing

Contest Ends January 6th, 2008 Midnight EST

I won’t do my normal saying hello back on this one, to keep things streamlined…

Be sure to visit my latest holiday Christmas show for the more personalized Jolene experience and comment interaction…

See the video end for rules and regulations. Void where prohibited.

Duration : 0:2:53

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Technorati Tags: advice, birth, britney, condom, Contest, control, hollywood, hospital, Jaime, Lynne, paternity, pills, pregnant, Protect, spears, win

Recap: well if you read it you would know what it was okay?

~Nick and Joe~

Nick:(worried) Joe… can I talk to you… I think something is wrong with Dana!
Joe: what? Well did anything happen?
Nick: I don?t know!!! but im scared she was sobbing on the phone and shes never like that!
Joe: don?t worry im sure everything will be fine! Now im going to bed im tired from the noisy two upstairs
Nick:(scared) about that… Joe (shaking nervously) that was Me and Dana!
Joe: WHAT MY 15 YEAR OLD BROTHER LOST HIS VIRGINITY BEFORE ME!!!! I CANT BELIEVE THIS!!!!!!
Nick: Joe this is serious
Joe: sorry man… its just I cant believe it!… (mad)about last night when you said that was nevr going to happen! So I didnt get you condoms! She cant get pregnant!!!!!! shes only 15 thats still a child to me
Nick: Joe calm down… no we didnt have a condom…. but Dana?s on the pill!!!! Joe you don?t think anything could have gone wrong do you?
Joe: no and your lucky this time! But next time your using a condom…. but chill even if she was pregnant we wouldnt find out yet!.. she probably like maxed out her credit card our somthing!!!! I mean youve be shopping with her before
Nick:(trying to calm down) yea it cant be serious and she does shop a lot! Any ways were going out to dinner tonight so im sure she will tell me if its big
Joe: so how did it feel?
Nick: she was everything and more than I?ve always dreamed about
Joe: wow so jelous… did you like it?
Nick: its like nothing I?ve ever felt before so much pleasure it should be illegal!
Joe: damn… what else….

~Dana and Kelsey~

Kelsey: see that wasnt to hard now was it?
Dana: no but how will I tell him tonight?
Kelsey: don?t worry about it… now lets get something sexy for your little to wear!

~Nick and Joe~

Joe: dude your sooo lucky I wish I could get a blow job!
Nick: YEA IT WAS (shivers) AMAZING!… and ohhhh the orgasim!!!!!
Joe: stop!!!! your making me jelous… yea but I keep dropping hints on Sam but ughhh she keeps saying shes not ready
Nick: well Joe you cant rush these kind of things it takes time
Joe: I know its just!
Nick: trust me it will come you just have to wait for the right moment and youll be glad you waited because its awesome!
Joe: wow that was deep… now lets get you sexy for your date…. dressy or casual?
Nick: dressy k lets go

~Kelsey and Dana~

Kelsey: wow you look hott! Lets buy that dress and go to get ready in my hotel room?
Dana: kk va jay jay

-home-
(Danas all ready)
*ring ring ring*

Dana: Hello?
Nick: hey… listen im running a little bit late so ill have the limo pick you up and ill meet you their
Dana: okay, just don?t be too late ill go crazy from missing you!
Nick: I wont I promise… got to go I love you
Dana: love you too bye

Dana: great hes running late
Kelsey: you worry to much it will be fine!
Dana: yea I just need to calm down… okay well the limos here got to go love ya
Kelsey: love ya too have fun call me if you need any help at all

(Dana walks into the resturant and her jaw drops to the floor)

WHAT DID SHE SEE? HOW WILL NICK REACT FIN OUT NEXT!

Duration : 0:2:27

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Technorati Tags: dana, joe, jonasbrothers, kelsey, Kevin, love, nick, OneTrueMedia, sam, story, woow